To take a break from getting ready to move back to Denver, I've figured out what to do. Blog, do a post about it. Now that I've stopped arguing with myself about whether to stay or go, Im dealing with a long list of things, some very important, that need to be taken care of, before I leave.

If I live long enough, maybe I'll get better acquainted with me. I wonder, is it more than furniture and important papers, and belongings I need to be sorting?

If you've read even a few of my posts, you may have noticed I get too serious about most everything. That's how I was approaching not only this move, but other things about being here. Even though I like to think I'm reasonably sharp, and have some savvy, I had slipped into an either-or-attitude about making this move. If one place was a good choice, how could the other be.

Honestly! Sometimes I wish I didn't know much psychology, all those why's and how comes about human behavior, and I could just think and feel as my little heart tells me to.


Something I've come up with is, behavioral patterns I learned years and years ago, I continue now, almost automatically.

In childhood I was taken or sent to various relatives, sometimes to other families. This may have been because all of us were in the throes of trying to survive a Depression. Many times the leaving was sudden, with no time for closure about no longer being where I was. Sometimes I had to leave little friends.

I'm wondering if how I dealt with those changes is how I deal with today's. When something about a relationship hurts, and I feel helpless to change it, I just numb myself, so I don't feel anything at all. I know I have a very hard time with goodbyes.

This time of leaving, I'm choosing to see good things about it. Barb and I shared more time together these past months, than we ever have before. She got Rob to bring her to my place several times, to help straighten out a really awful mess about the computer.

Her little Chelsea, the doggie she named her blog after, makes you feel so needed when she gives you a fifteen minute hello, each and every time you visit.

I got to see Barb's little grandson while he was still a baby, and thrilled at watching him take his first steps, then walk so fast it seemed like he was running. I suppose, like the rest of us, he's trying to find his trail, too. I love listening to him try to make words.

I was tremendously honored and happy when Mandy confided in me that she would be marrying a really awesome young man.


I think I'm getting it all sorted out. Each of us needs to get on with our lives, no matter which side of the mountain we choose, but when I head back to Denver, I'm taking some precious moments along.