This week's quote for Christian Women Online by Terry Maxwell: "I am the one holding the keys to the atmosphere in our home", got my attention as quickly as a knot in my apron string would. Not that I wear them much anymore, but I remember when I did, when the children were growing up.

The quote suggests I'm responsible for the emotions, feelings and attitudes of everyone under our roof.

My first reaction to this was a long, tired sigh. The children, all six of them, grew up and have left home.

Our family's history could cause many people to pause and rest. There's heart ache and heart break, but there was also love. I think it's all called life.


One grandchild is in juvenile detention. Another was chosen by a college president to be his assistant. A grand daughter is in trouble because of drugs. Chidren and Grandchildren, who live Christ centered lives, are teaching their children the same. Most of them seem responsible, and self reliant, and haven't been in trouble with the law.

Six completed college, and have good jobs or budding careers. Some exist on very little. Some have more.

I realize tragedy can reach anyone, but I wonder why some turned out to do so well, while others haven't. A son killed himself, and the death of a grand daughter may have been a suicide, accidental, or not, because of drugs.

How did all this happen? What influenced some to head in certain directions, while others don't yet seem to know which way to go.

I think the biggest common denominator, is whether they let Christ lead their lives. Those who do seem to prosper more. Not that salvation is about money, but their emotional lives seem richer too. I don't see as much worry and strife.

I believe core values are learned early on, and mostly at home.

There's talk about how birth order affects development. Each of my children showed different personality traits while very young.

So how did the emotional atmosphere where we all lived together seem to affect them so differently? I don't doubt they didn't have much self esteem. They couldn't have seen much of it in me back then.

I easily recognize their love of learning, and know where they got that. When your mother gives you an additional spelling test each week, besides the one you got at school, you kind of get the idea she might think it's important.

While Moms may have more to do with the home atmosphere than Dads, I believe boys pick up on traits they can only learn from fathers, or other men, those things that tell them how to be a man.

The same can be said of mothers and daughters. Little mannerisms, the way they walk or talk, or pause. Some of it may simply be from bone structure genes, but more than likely, my daughters learned theirs from me.

We haven't touched on other things home atmosphere affects. Helping children feel safe and wanted, and knowing they're secure.

They learn much more from what they see, than what they're told. If their father shows respect for thier Mom, they learn they should, too. How they're trained and corrected tells them how to treat their children.

Positive or negative outlooks are easily acquired. Attitude about race and religion, children pick up on without being told.

When I began writing on this subject, I was thinking my being in a good mood, or having a pleasant disposition helped develop a good home atmosphere.

But I wasn't satisfied I'd adequately covered the subject here, so I looked the word up. Atmosphere: "a pervading or surrounding influence or spirit" is what I found. I knew I provided all of it I could, but there are times it seems my children need more.

So I must step aside, so they can find the greatest atmosphere and influence of all, our Lord. This doesn't mean that I won't sometimes still help them. Moms are like that, I'm sure you know. But wise ones also know when to move over, and give their children space to find themselves and grow.