Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Life Is A Test, It Is Only A Test, If It Had Been The Real World, You Would Have Been Told Where To Go, And What to Do..
Some years ago, when I was recovering from still another ill-advised relationship, I purchased a little book, titled "The Language of Letting Go", and even read a few of its pages. Then tucked it away with many other written treasures.
Since then I have moved six times, or more, and in the process parted with items I sometimes wished I'd kept. This favored little book, I believe, clearly points out that in life, there are no accidental happenings, and this is the reason I call this post: "Life Is A Test, It is only A Test. If It Had Been The Real World, We Would Have Been Told Where To go, And What To Do".
The title I'm writing about is: "The Language of Letting Go", from Hazelden Meditation Series, by Meolody Beattie. It is sectioned into every day of the year, and in this publication includes the leap year day.
The Hazelden Fountation's mission is to improve the quality of life for individuals and families on their personal journey, away from being affected by alcoholism and other destructive addictions.
Here are some of the helps I found in this book I begin, and sometimes end my days with.
It teaches that our boundaries emerge from deep within us, and are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. It points out things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed.
Throughout a year of days in it, affirmations abound, for our benefit. I'm pretty sure most mental health therapists agree that we don't have to feel guilty about finding happiness, and a life that works. This is a giant step in any kind of recovery. One of many quotes here is that "We do not have to take on our families' issues as our own, to be loyal to them, and show that we love them."
Our freedom starts when we stop denying their issues, and politely, but assertively hand their stuff back to them. or, as my little Korean grand daughter loudly proclaims in self esteem school training: "That is not my responsibility!"
This book warns us to not become caretakers- to not take responsibility for others, while neglecting ourselves, and hampering them from learning to be responsible for themselves.
Many of us, especially women, learned that it is not socially acceptable to express our anger. But anger is an emotion we were born with, just as is our happiness, or fear. This book warns us that we will feel anger when it comes our way, or else we repress it.
When I had a life changing relationship wear me into folding up from Life for a while, when I struggled for months with the anger of it, before it all came storming down on me, me, I was amazed to realize I'd let it control me for years. I never even considered that I might be self righteous. After all, I'd been terribly wronged. Didn't I deserve to be indignant for a while. But for years! It took a huge check of reality to understand that this soft spoken woman of the South could hold onto that much rage. Only when I was willing to let go of it, did God's Loving Grace fill the empty places in me.
This book maintains that prayer is the only thing that changes our character, so of course, prayer is highly recommended. Acting as if, mentally pretending, is another tool we can use to grow. "Make believe thinking can set the stage for our new and needed behaviors". "This opens us up to the positive posibilities of the future", instead of letting today's feelings and circumstances limit us.
What comes to mind while writing this, I learned from a dear friend blogger named Mary, in a far away place of our world, Mary started the absolute delight of giving gratitude, spilling it over, like beauty, in a hymn simply titled "Give Thanks". This came about near when Christmas was arriving, so I found the song on an old CD, and made a tape of it to play in my car.
When some unkind or preoccupied person would cut me off in traffic while I was in a hurry, I'd slow myself down with a long deep breath, and enjoy the song's praises.
This little book that is becoming such a treasure, says "Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes of our lives, and unlocks the positivity we all so need". With a grateful attitude and heart, we are admonished to not get comfortable with feeling victimized, and warned of the danger of its fallout.
Again, the author especially points out that feeling helpless, rageful, and powerless and frustrated, any or all of these extreme emotions can point us toward addictive or compulsive behaviors that are dangerous to acquire.
But this book is not all about seriousness. Encouragement is offered in the words titled: "New energy is coming": Short little prayers, dispersed throughout it do encourage, i.e., "I can accept with gratitude, all that has brought me to today".
What a freedom we can claim for ourselves, when we recognize shame, and refuse to let others use it to control us, to keep us living out a part of a disfunctional family. We also need to know when we may be forcing it on ourselves.
Except for my Bible, this storehouse of wisdom and advice directs my almost every morning. Sounding like a leading melody from Josh Groban's CD, "awake", it keeps telling me (and you, if you listen), "We are lovable, we are loved, and worthy of it".
Page after page of it I've read, and repeated. Strands throughout often sound brand new. Immagine starting a day with "We are the greatest thing that will ever happen to us". and then the book adds: "Believe it! It makes life easier."
The serious minded people of the world are remembered by this book's author. too. Over and over, she exhorts us to lighten up, and not take life so seriously.
Toward the end of the book, the question is asked ---why do we use only negatives to describe ourselves? What if, instead, we said "What's right with me? What are my strengths?" It reminds us that Recovery from a debilitating life is not about eliminating our personality. It is about dealing differently with our negatives, and building on our positivities.
Because these words are so helpful to me, I'd like repeating some here. Some of my favorites of it are: "Fun becomes fun. Love becomes love. Life becomes worth living, and we become grateful", Beyond Codependency.
For more information about the Hazelden Foundation, the phone number is:
1-800-257-7800, or you may access their World Wide Webb Site on the internet at
http:llwww.hazelden.org.
"Give Thanks with a grateful heart, Give thanks......."
Since then I have moved six times, or more, and in the process parted with items I sometimes wished I'd kept. This favored little book, I believe, clearly points out that in life, there are no accidental happenings, and this is the reason I call this post: "Life Is A Test, It is only A Test. If It Had Been The Real World, We Would Have Been Told Where To go, And What To Do".
The title I'm writing about is: "The Language of Letting Go", from Hazelden Meditation Series, by Meolody Beattie. It is sectioned into every day of the year, and in this publication includes the leap year day.
The Hazelden Fountation's mission is to improve the quality of life for individuals and families on their personal journey, away from being affected by alcoholism and other destructive addictions.
Here are some of the helps I found in this book I begin, and sometimes end my days with.
It teaches that our boundaries emerge from deep within us, and are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. It points out things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed.
Throughout a year of days in it, affirmations abound, for our benefit. I'm pretty sure most mental health therapists agree that we don't have to feel guilty about finding happiness, and a life that works. This is a giant step in any kind of recovery. One of many quotes here is that "We do not have to take on our families' issues as our own, to be loyal to them, and show that we love them."
Our freedom starts when we stop denying their issues, and politely, but assertively hand their stuff back to them. or, as my little Korean grand daughter loudly proclaims in self esteem school training: "That is not my responsibility!"
This book warns us to not become caretakers- to not take responsibility for others, while neglecting ourselves, and hampering them from learning to be responsible for themselves.
Many of us, especially women, learned that it is not socially acceptable to express our anger. But anger is an emotion we were born with, just as is our happiness, or fear. This book warns us that we will feel anger when it comes our way, or else we repress it.
When I had a life changing relationship wear me into folding up from Life for a while, when I struggled for months with the anger of it, before it all came storming down on me, me, I was amazed to realize I'd let it control me for years. I never even considered that I might be self righteous. After all, I'd been terribly wronged. Didn't I deserve to be indignant for a while. But for years! It took a huge check of reality to understand that this soft spoken woman of the South could hold onto that much rage. Only when I was willing to let go of it, did God's Loving Grace fill the empty places in me.
This book maintains that prayer is the only thing that changes our character, so of course, prayer is highly recommended. Acting as if, mentally pretending, is another tool we can use to grow. "Make believe thinking can set the stage for our new and needed behaviors". "This opens us up to the positive posibilities of the future", instead of letting today's feelings and circumstances limit us.
What comes to mind while writing this, I learned from a dear friend blogger named Mary, in a far away place of our world, Mary started the absolute delight of giving gratitude, spilling it over, like beauty, in a hymn simply titled "Give Thanks". This came about near when Christmas was arriving, so I found the song on an old CD, and made a tape of it to play in my car.
When some unkind or preoccupied person would cut me off in traffic while I was in a hurry, I'd slow myself down with a long deep breath, and enjoy the song's praises.
This little book that is becoming such a treasure, says "Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes of our lives, and unlocks the positivity we all so need". With a grateful attitude and heart, we are admonished to not get comfortable with feeling victimized, and warned of the danger of its fallout.
Again, the author especially points out that feeling helpless, rageful, and powerless and frustrated, any or all of these extreme emotions can point us toward addictive or compulsive behaviors that are dangerous to acquire.
But this book is not all about seriousness. Encouragement is offered in the words titled: "New energy is coming": Short little prayers, dispersed throughout it do encourage, i.e., "I can accept with gratitude, all that has brought me to today".
What a freedom we can claim for ourselves, when we recognize shame, and refuse to let others use it to control us, to keep us living out a part of a disfunctional family. We also need to know when we may be forcing it on ourselves.
Except for my Bible, this storehouse of wisdom and advice directs my almost every morning. Sounding like a leading melody from Josh Groban's CD, "awake", it keeps telling me (and you, if you listen), "We are lovable, we are loved, and worthy of it".
Page after page of it I've read, and repeated. Strands throughout often sound brand new. Immagine starting a day with "We are the greatest thing that will ever happen to us". and then the book adds: "Believe it! It makes life easier."
The serious minded people of the world are remembered by this book's author. too. Over and over, she exhorts us to lighten up, and not take life so seriously.
Toward the end of the book, the question is asked ---why do we use only negatives to describe ourselves? What if, instead, we said "What's right with me? What are my strengths?" It reminds us that Recovery from a debilitating life is not about eliminating our personality. It is about dealing differently with our negatives, and building on our positivities.
Because these words are so helpful to me, I'd like repeating some here. Some of my favorites of it are: "Fun becomes fun. Love becomes love. Life becomes worth living, and we become grateful", Beyond Codependency.
For more information about the Hazelden Foundation, the phone number is:
1-800-257-7800, or you may access their World Wide Webb Site on the internet at
http:llwww.hazelden.org.
"Give Thanks with a grateful heart, Give thanks......."
