Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Christmas Again.
I am feeling that I've neglected all you caring blogging friends. Here it is, almost Christmas, when we especially connect with those we care about, and I'm not much in touch.
Lately I've let other things dominate my time almost completely, and they shadow my feeling Christmasy. Night before last I wasn't thinking of Christmas gifts, or decorating, or anything except getting home safely. A few miles from work I really concentrated on the road, as the snowfall grew heavier. Though I was scared I stayed calm, and most of the way home had an extensive conversation with my Lord.
I reminded myself out loud of other winter storms I've driven in. There's nothing like remembered successes to boost one's fading confidence.
I'm sure I repeated myself, as I thanked God for taking care of me as I drove, and the next morning did some of the taking care of myself, by driving to Discount Tire and having winter tires with studs put on the car. The trip home from the tire place, even on snow packed roads, seemed easier than getting home from work had.
But other things hover, at least in my head, and cause concern as the days til Christmas seem to go faster. I need to shop and wrap presents, and get them in the mail, but I come home from work wrung out, and can't get into the right pace or gear, or at least send cards, and start packing to move to the house.
It's not that everything is bad. I feel like what I need to do takes more zeal and energy than I have. But I know me, and I know the Lord knows me even more. One day soon I will wake that morning, and turn this place into a packing warehouse, and hurry to the nearest post office, and mail Christmas gifts. By then the new carpet should be installed, and the move can begin. So far there's only been one glitch about it, with this last snow storm delaying getting the carpet in.
It's o.k. if everything I'd like to do about Christmas doesn't get done. It's o.k. if we have a family gathering after December 25. The turkey or ham or whatever we share will be just as good then. I should stop this mental craziness of carrying all these self imposed expectations around and around in my head, and take time to see this year's Christmas lights. It would be easy to set out the Nativity scene, and hang a wreath on the door of the house, and remember again why we're having a Christmas.
Lately I've let other things dominate my time almost completely, and they shadow my feeling Christmasy. Night before last I wasn't thinking of Christmas gifts, or decorating, or anything except getting home safely. A few miles from work I really concentrated on the road, as the snowfall grew heavier. Though I was scared I stayed calm, and most of the way home had an extensive conversation with my Lord.
I reminded myself out loud of other winter storms I've driven in. There's nothing like remembered successes to boost one's fading confidence.
I'm sure I repeated myself, as I thanked God for taking care of me as I drove, and the next morning did some of the taking care of myself, by driving to Discount Tire and having winter tires with studs put on the car. The trip home from the tire place, even on snow packed roads, seemed easier than getting home from work had.
But other things hover, at least in my head, and cause concern as the days til Christmas seem to go faster. I need to shop and wrap presents, and get them in the mail, but I come home from work wrung out, and can't get into the right pace or gear, or at least send cards, and start packing to move to the house.
It's not that everything is bad. I feel like what I need to do takes more zeal and energy than I have. But I know me, and I know the Lord knows me even more. One day soon I will wake that morning, and turn this place into a packing warehouse, and hurry to the nearest post office, and mail Christmas gifts. By then the new carpet should be installed, and the move can begin. So far there's only been one glitch about it, with this last snow storm delaying getting the carpet in.
It's o.k. if everything I'd like to do about Christmas doesn't get done. It's o.k. if we have a family gathering after December 25. The turkey or ham or whatever we share will be just as good then. I should stop this mental craziness of carrying all these self imposed expectations around and around in my head, and take time to see this year's Christmas lights. It would be easy to set out the Nativity scene, and hang a wreath on the door of the house, and remember again why we're having a Christmas.
