I've never been a detail person. When I was raising my children, I got good at figuring things out as I went. But these past months I've often noticed time passing, and as the date for more serious surgery closes in, I'm especially counting it. Am down to only nine more days.

Almost five months ago I thought in terms of how long certain things needed to get better. Things like a long wait for surgery, and then more time, to heal. Before I knew it, I had used up winter, and then the lily bloomed again.

All that time I still believed my knee would soon work again. But as the days kept rushing, I tried hard to not feel depressed, and turned my thoughts toward improving myself. I live in a quiet and peacefull place, and I certainly had time for it. All I needed to do was to look closer at myself.

If you've never done this, I so recommend it. These are some of the things I discovered. In relationships, whether with family or friends, or people I work with, I nearly always give too much; not just time and interest, but gifts, sometimes money. What I've learned about this is that I don't have to stop being kind and caring, but I do need to do less of it.

Another area that surprised me, is that I was way overboard about worrying. I mean, starting in with it before I even get out of bed, and most of it not needed. This took a lot of real effort to stop, and the tendency remains. I am sure this one will require lots of effort.

Discovering this felt like being blindsided. I did not realize how much I do this. When I'm trying to describe something, or convince someone of something, I give much too much information. It is like, if I can just make it clear enough, they'll understand. This probably especially drives organized people crazy, and to think I've been doing it for years!

This last area, I am so grateful to realize. If I hadn't discovered it about myself, I would not believe it. But I've been doing this. Most of my life I've let other people make important decisions for me. Individuals who knew me before, will be very surprised the next time they deal with me.

In the past, I let realtors convince me what price to offer. There are times I allowed people less qualified than me to tell me where to live. When I'd be shopping with certain ones, I'd come home with stuff I didn't really need. (But I should give myself some credit here. I at least learned to not shop with them). Not in recent years, but long ago, I let neighbors influence me about religion. When I ventured into the dating scene, I must have been easy game. Not much point in trying to change that, but the other big league areas of living will see a lady who now values her own thinking.

This miserable time is about much more than mending my broken knee, and I gladly offer all of it, even the ongoing pain. for what I've learned while trying to get through it.

My daughter, Bev, at "Scratch'en The Surface", or "Life Of Grits", wrote a tremendous post today titled "The Lord Has Promised Good To Me", and ended it with that mighty hymn, "Amazing Grace". As I read it I could see her standing in her church, thinking all the beautiful things racing through her loving brain, and it so encouraged me, remembering how amazing God's Grace is, for He's just done a wonderful thing. I plan to leave this matter of healing my leg to our Lord, and the doctors, and as soon as I'm able, to start using these things I've discovered about me.