I know, I know. It sounds like a crazy title for a post. I'm trying to figure it out, too. When I began blogging a few months ago, after daughter, Bev, at Blessed Beyond Measure, encouraged me to I mentioned something she told me long ago, that she admired my loving "becoming".

I took it as a compliment, her saying that, for I understood clearly what she was trying to say. She had noticed my great need to grow. When I consider the times I've not done that well, it makes her comment mean more.

A little aside from all this seriousness, I need to say what I'm putting into words here isn't just about me, me me. Take any part or all of it you wish, if it will help along your way.

Lately, because I've had some time alone, I've thought of lots of things. How did I become whatever I am, and why? Bit by bit, little pieces of life, day by day.

I've already posted, maybe several times, on the influence certain people had on me. But today I'm talking about more than that, my journey to find me. Like many things about our lives, it didn't happen in a flash, nor without any effort.

Something that stands out more than others is a book an attorney said I should read: PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS, by Maxwell Maltz. It was in the early 60's. I had gone to the attorney because I was miserable in my marriage. I got the book and read it, but didn't understand hardly any of it. Looking back now, I realize I hadn't traveled far enough of my life to understand what I needed to see.

But I appreciated that the attorney tried to help. A seed was sewn, and it would grow.

Much more was taking place in the sixties, not just in our home, but in the world, but home took up most of me. My children were all in school, and I longed to be there too.

At our house each day just seemd to follow the one that passed. It's so easy to spend your energy and hours making beds and meals, that you don't think about much more than that.

But something in me was restless. I couldn't bear thinkng I'd grow old, and still be ignorant. While the children did their homework, I memorized word lists. I remember clipping the list to the kitchen curtain with a clothes pin, so while washing dishes I could study it.

By the early 70's we were in Colorado, and someone told me about a weekend the church put on. A time for personal growth, they said, and gave me a little book to read.

Except for the one the attorney mentioned, it was my first step toward getting acquainted with me. I'll never forget it: "HOW TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND".

That was long ago, and though there didn't seem to be much progress in my "becoming" back then, another seed had been sewn.

I hadn't found all of me yet, but at least was going in the right direction, and with a little wisdom understood, God had been taking care of me all along, almost laying in my lap whatever I needed to learn.

Over the years I did get some education. For a long time, I thought that was my life goal. Of course, not everything is learned in books. The 25 years between then and now, and just as many wrong turns, taught me more than a college degree did, mainly, that we can only know that part of ourselves we let grow.


I've looked and looked, but cannot find the little book about being one's own best friend. If any of you have it, or know where one's available, I would so appreciate reading it again.

I realize it's nearly Christmas, and you're busy preparing for it. At this moment you're probably not seriously contemplating your future. But while I have all this time on my hands, even while packing, thought I'd share this with you. I think I see another road unfolding, just ahead.