Lately I've not written much, not because I don't have things to say. You who know me know I'm called the serious one, and recently I'd deserve that name. I try to place just when I started that. I don't recall childhood being that way, except for trying to survive. But that didn't seem so odd. Everyone I knew back then was serious minded, trying to get through a world war. Most of us did. Sometimes I even felt lighthearted, before adulthood threatened to wipe out being a kid. Yep that's right. For years I've tried to understand all that. Have not figured it out


I am more clear about the reason for this serious siege. Although it's a limp excuse, it is the weather's fault. Not long before I got here a huge snow storm struck. Snow that wouldn't leave for weeks was piled around. Only narrow walkways were shoveled out. A few days later another storm snowing sideways fell down. For weeks a Dr. Zhivago scene remained outside.

If I wanted a weather report, I looked out my window. A snow drift two feet deep or more kept me inside. I wouldn't call it paradise, but it was nice, looking at the snow, enjoying cocoa when I pleased. Spending all the time I cared to here at a computer that didn't fail, or losing myself in books.

I may be overly serious, but that's not the same as dumb. Do you have any idea how many icy windows I've scraped when my shift ended late in the night. Before going back to work, I planned taking time off. The second snow storm and others after it sealed the thought. I couldn't believe I gave myself such a gift! and it's still not
over.

I'm not looking for other planets. I'm on my own, searching for myself. Seriously,(there I go again), Not often have I taken time to think of future plans. (I got trained and went to work for more than twenty years) In a workaday world it's easy to not look ahead. You barely turn around, and a chunk of your life just passed.

Not being a big organizer, I don't waste time planning trips. I can pack luggage in fifteen minutes or less. This trip may require more than that. I've been working at making an empty apartment my home, and that's pretty well done. Last week I dragged everything out of my closet, and got rid of half of it.(Bev and Sarah would be proud!) A few trips to reputable thrift stores replaced much of it. You'd be surprized how many nice outfits I found, and matching purse and shoes.

I've been working on the inside of me too. Between reading my Bible, and Maxwell Maltz and "The Ten Commandments Of Self Esteem", with daily checks on how I'm doing, should just about fix my outlook and attitude, or psychological scrapes and dents life sometimes leaves.

It may take longer to improve my hair and nails. Although since I've not been working, they're beginning to grow.

The biggest gift I'm giving myself is to work in a different place. As usual, I gave it more than enough study. The paper work needed is all done. Next week I'll make sure my best outfit is fine. I've already got new shoes. Based on the doors I see Him opening, I should walk through one soon.