Sunday, August 03, 2008
Wistful Thinking
I haven't written much here lately. Today feels like the last of a needed break, which it kind of is. I'll be back at work tomorrow. Yesterday I found myself trying to use every moment like it would be a long time til I could again.
I took care of errands, and guarded my free time like I'd never have more. Last night I wrote a long chapter seven of the book, and as soon as I started early morning lawn watering, I sat right here, and wrote all of chapter 8. If you're thinking of doing therapy, I can save you lots of money. Rope off a lot of personal time, and beginning as far back as you can remember, take another look at yourself. It doesn't have to be, shouldn't have to be, negative and sad. Just look at the trails you blazed, and maybe that will help you understand yourself and others. The biggest surprise in all of it was feelings I've carried around for years. It is more than sweet bliss to hold them again for a moment , and let go of them.
You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour
after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had it to do
over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead
of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the
spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I
would ride merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
I took care of errands, and guarded my free time like I'd never have more. Last night I wrote a long chapter seven of the book, and as soon as I started early morning lawn watering, I sat right here, and wrote all of chapter 8. If you're thinking of doing therapy, I can save you lots of money. Rope off a lot of personal time, and beginning as far back as you can remember, take another look at yourself. It doesn't have to be, shouldn't have to be, negative and sad. Just look at the trails you blazed, and maybe that will help you understand yourself and others. The biggest surprise in all of it was feelings I've carried around for years. It is more than sweet bliss to hold them again for a moment , and let go of them.
I took time to visit a nearby church yesterday, during their open house event. I liked what I saw there - friendliness all over. People maybe as old as me cooking hotdogs, or serving lemonaide, or making cotton candy, and popcorn, and kids and young people all over the place, with most of their faces painted. The pastor and his wife were working as hard as anybody else, probably more. It does take time and effort to keep those children away from all that goes on in our present world. Speaking of religion, my summer reading devotional is centered around Max Lucado's "Next Door Savior". If you can read this book, and not be affected by it, I don't know what other reading material to suggest.
This time I've spent getting my knee well again is a huge gift. When I got out of bed this morning, I remembered weeks of not being able to bear weight on it, but I am walking now, and hope to never take that for granted again.
The house could use some heavy duty cleaning, and most of the yard, but I've mopped and cleaned and spiffied up what matters. I will go to work, and drive the miles, but from now on work only gets a part of me. I am saving the rest to put in chapter nine of a book that although I lived it, can hardly believe it.
Excuse me while I choose a lighthearted movie to see. There's still several hours left in this last day off. I leave you with some wonderful words I once stumbled onto:
If I Had My Life To Live Over by Nadine Stair
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber
up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer
things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more
mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less
beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer
imaginary ones.
This time I've spent getting my knee well again is a huge gift. When I got out of bed this morning, I remembered weeks of not being able to bear weight on it, but I am walking now, and hope to never take that for granted again.
The house could use some heavy duty cleaning, and most of the yard, but I've mopped and cleaned and spiffied up what matters. I will go to work, and drive the miles, but from now on work only gets a part of me. I am saving the rest to put in chapter nine of a book that although I lived it, can hardly believe it.
Excuse me while I choose a lighthearted movie to see. There's still several hours left in this last day off. I leave you with some wonderful words I once stumbled onto:
If I Had My Life To Live Over by Nadine Stair
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber
up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer
things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more
mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less
beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer
imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour
after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had it to do
over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead
of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the
spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I
would ride merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
